This year that just passed has been amazing, Annie and I have grown closer now a husband and wife. We love each other every day a little more and we can’t help but want to spend every waking moment together.

The baby has grown immensely; he can run, jump and will talk your ear off if you let him. I look back at this year and the one before and I can’t recall ever being this happy.

Right after our wedding Annie undertook a huge challenge, she bowed to lose weight in order to be healthy. We want to have more kids and it is her goal to be completely fit before doing so.

So far she has lost close to 70lbs and I couldn’t be more proud, she looks absolutely amazing; she has more energy than I can keep up with and even her demeanor has changed. I cannot wait until she reaches her goal.

BEFORE	AFTER

I have also undertaken this challenge recently since I’ve gained considerable amount of weight in the last 5 years, so hopefully with her as an example I will also be able to reach my goal soon.

In the financial aspect of our life we are doing great, this year we’ve paid off several credit cards and we are doing the best we can to get out of debt completely by the end of the year. This isn’t a huge post, nor it contains great revelations. But I guarantee you that its brevity bears no weight on how happy and exciting this year has been. I have an amazing family and cannot wait to see what God has in store for us this year.

In a fit of anguish we decided that this year everyone would get something, but we made a point to make the gifts more sentimental than material. We went to Sears and took several photos in the studio, bough a few frames and got to work. See everyone in my side of the family always complains about the fact that they don’t have enough pictures of Quincy or enough pictures of us. Turns out that everyone loved their gifts, there were tears of joy in people’s faces and that made it all better. I love the fact that we were still able to give everyone something although small, it was very valuable to them.

On the other hand, although we were tight for money we made sure that this didn’t affect our baby. All the money we saved with the pictures we used to buy him all sorts of toys, books and movies. He had such a blast, everyone else in the family did the same. Our Christmas Tree was filled with gifts for the kids from top to bottom and all around, everyone delivered and that was an awesome feeling, because no matter how tough the times get, the children should never be made aware of this.

On the night before Christmas Santa came to visit us, he spoke to each kid and gave them all toys. The joy and emotion in the kids face was priceless. None of them had ever seen Santa Clause and having him there to feel and touch was an amazing experience that I am sure will last for many years to come.

That night after the kids went to bed wed set out to pull out all the gifts and arrange them around the Christmas tree so that in the morning they would wake up and be marveled.

The next morning when the kids woke up they were ecstatic, Quincy ran over to his brand new toy box and giggled like a school boy. They spent the major part of the morning opening presents and after they were done we headed out to Granny’s house  (Annie’s Grandma). We spent some time with her, took her gifts and I sang some Christmas Carlos with my guitar.

At 6 pm the family got together in our house to enjoy dinner and share with each-other, it was an enjoyable Christmas with a few kinks but we didn’t let anything ruing it for us. I love Christmas and can’t wait for next year.

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The first time we went Quincy was 1 year old and just sat around and fell asleep on my head while walking

it was an enjoyable trip for Annie and I but it felt  like Quincy was bored and didn’t really understand what was happening

We took him there several more times since with a similar result, sometimes he enjoyed himself for a while, but for the most part he would cry and act annoyed.

Yesterday when we awoke the day was gorgeous and the temperature was just right, so we decided to give it another try. We got up, got dressed and headed out to the Zoo; the whole time Quincy was screaming, so excited about our trip. He would said “I wan go the zoo!!!!!!” .

This came as a surprise for us since he never cared about it before. We got there sat him on the stroller and started our long walk around. I expected him to get annoyed or cry as soon as he got bored, but to my surprise he was very attentive, even asked to be taken out of the stroller so that he could see better and literally spent the whole trip on my shoulders.

We saw the Elephants, Zebras and Giraffes; Quincy knew all the names and pointed them out, he would call out “Hewo Elephant” or “I wove you Giraffe!”  It was a very exciting trip and it showed me just how much out baby has learned over the last year.

He now talks a lot, his vocabulary has expanded exponentially and has even learned to conjugate verbs and use tenses correctly. He is growing so fast! It is hard for me to fathom that only a year ago he couldn’t talk or communicate with us, and now he is at the Zoo calling out animals and having “adult” conversations with us. I look forward to taking him to the Zoo more often  and I hope that he continues developing the interest he showed for the animals and for learning.

Annie was holding Quincy and then the song “Listen to your heart” performed by Kelly Clarkson started playing. I joined them as they danced and for the whole time the music was playing we just stared at each other. The baby leaned his head on my chest as we hugged and danced.

This was the sweetest moment we’ve had in a while, the three of us cuddled up danced away through the night. For those short 3 minutes there were no problems, no fights, and no stress. Everything was perfect, no one interrupted us with a request, no one required attention. We danced and stared, we kissed and snugled.

Sitting here I wonder how in the world I lived before? What was Annie doing before I met her? How did I get around without them? And Quincy such a little defenseless creature, how can something so small cause you so much happiness and joy? So many questions without answer… but who needs them. I’ve got them, they are mine; mine for ever! I don’t care what happens or where life takes us I will never leave them, they need me and more importantly, I need them.

It is not flesh and blood but the heart which makes us fathers and sons.  ~Johann Schiller

Quincy is advancing a lot in potty training, he now asks to go to the potty (sometimes) and other times he goes and grabs the potty himself. The other day I was playing with him in the room and all of the sudden he disappeared. I set out look for him and found him potty on hand at the bathroom door.  It is so amazing to see him grow and become so independent.

Over the last few weeks his vocabulary has expanded tremendously, he now fully understands almost everything you tell him and most of the time is able to reply. Although I must make note that his reply 90% percent of the time is “NO”. He is adorable, you can ask him pretty much any question whether it is positive or negative the answer is always the same.

                Quincy do you want juice? “No”

                Quincy do you love me? “No”

For some reason he hasn’t gotten that concept down yet, some people have told me that maybe we tell him no way too often, but what can we do. He is 2 years old and runs around the house like a crazy person getting into and touching everything. Sometimes I get so scared that he may get hurt.

Last week was particularly hot and in order to survive the heat we brought in an old stand up fan and set it up on the living room. Well, last night I had to frantically yell “NO QUINCY NO!” as he was inching towards the fan with his little fingers to touch the blade.

Work has been pretty good although because I was sick I had to miss 2 days, this week is short to begin with because of the 4^th so I only get to work 2 days. I would say it’s a perk but since the first 2 days of the week I was sick I don’t think it’s much of an advantage.

Oh and I can’t leave this post without making mention that on Thursday June 25^th 2009 we lost of the greatest performers of all times.  

Michael Jackson

On June 25, 2009, Jackson collapsed at his rented mansion at 100 North Carolwood Drive in the Holmby Hills area of Los Angeles. Attempts at resuscitating him by his personal physician were unsuccessful.^[161] Los Angeles Fire Department paramedics received a 911 call at 12:22 p.m. (PDT), arriving three minutes and seventeen seconds later at Jackson’s location.^[162][163] He was reportedly not breathing and CPR was performed.^[164] Resuscitation efforts continued both en route to the Ronald Reagan UCLA Medical Center, and for an hour further after arriving at approximately 1:13 p.m. (20:13 UTC).^[161] He was noted to have been in cardiac arrest by the paramedics who attended him at his house.^[164] Jackson was pronounced dead at approximately 2:25 p.m. local time (21:25 UTC).^[165][166] Rumors and news of Jackson’s death broke web records, triggering a cyberspace traffic jam^[167] and creating severe traffic spikes to websites such as Google,^[168] Facebook,^[169], Twitter^[170] and Wikipedia.^[171] Vigils were held by members of the general public after the death.^[172]

More…

The daycare called this morning saying the baby had diarrhea 3 times and had to be picked up.  Reluctantly I left work to pick him up.  Now, of course, since I’ve gotten home he’s pooped twice and only had diarrhea one of those times (hmm, is it weird that every post so far has included something about Quincy’s poop…lol).  And I digress – but last week I had to miss work again because he was sick and running a fever.  We took him to his pediatrician and the result was basically a stomach bug possibly brought on by the change to his new class.  Some background - they moved him up to the 2 year old class early because some child kept biting him and I went in there with a few words to say.  Now he’s in a new class and his first week there the teacher left.  Now he has a new teacher again.  So, of course, every morning when I drop him off, he screams and screams and clings to my pant leg and essentially makes me feel like the most horrible person ever to walk the face of the planet.  And really I could not describe this horrible daycare dilemma to you accurately unless you have children yourself.  Basically, it’s like this never ending circle.  You work for the money to feed them, but because you work, you have to find child care for them while you’re at work, and then you have to miss work, because they get sick from being around a million other kids with a million other germs all day long, and it goes on and on and on and on…and everyday you find yourself wishing more and more there was some way you could achieve some delicate balance to this whole situation and not spend every waking moment kicking the crap out of yourself for handing over your most precious asset to a bunch of strangers every morning.

Now, I know that Jose feels the same about all that I’ve just mentioned but he probably does not feel the same about what I’m about to say, thus I provide this disclaimer that these are my opinions only and they may not be endorsed by my husband of one month today (yay).  lol 

One of our major stresses right now is the care of my grandmother and his mother.  Since the rest of our family is unable to take care of either of these two wonderful women, the responsibility is on us.  Jose’s mom has been with us since we first got together but my grandma has only come to stay with us about 3-4 months ago.  My uncle used to take care of her up until he died about a year ago.  She was in bad shape before his death and now she is suffering from a bout of depression as well.  She’s having a hard time walking and anything more than a couple of steps to the bathroom is very difficult.  We are working to get her placed in an assisted living facility but the state funding is not great at the moment.  In the meantime she is staying with us getting physical therapy about 4 times a week. 

Everyday is a different day with her.  One day I think she’s well enough to just live forever in the recliner in our living room and then other days I’m worried that she may spend the rest of her life in the hospital.  I feel overwhelming amounts of guilt for getting annoyed at her very simple, yet numerous requests.  I feel overwhelming guilty that I had to be the one to take her in and make the decision about getting her a higher level of organized care.  And I feel angry, which used to be the hardest emotion to deal with but has been trumped now by exhaustion.  I feel angry that my grandmother is a mother of 13 children and she’s faced with this situation.  I’m not upset that no one wants to take on her care, because I don’t think anyone is really equipped to due to her deteriorating health, but I’m upset that no one seems to want to help.  I have one aunt who occasionally takes her for a few hours to give us a break, however, she’s the only one I can call.  Everyone else always has some excuse and they always want to do the fun stuff like take her to dinner but no one wants to do the hard stuff, like help bathe her or take her to doctor’s appointments or wait while she gets her hair done, etc, etc.  As you can see, it’s stressful to say the least.

When I came in this morning from picking up the baby, instantly it was a thousand requests of different things needed.  My frustration got the best of me and while I try not to let her see it, sometimes I fail at that.  I worry about her and I worry about how I can get her all the things she needs while making sure my son has everything he needs too.  When I took her to the doctor yesterday, we left with a follow-up with her primary care in 4 months and 4 new appointments with 4 different doctors (nerve conduction study, mammogram, eye check and more with the surgeon for her skin cancer).  Then if that wasn’t enough I got a call this afternoon about a sleep study appointment for next week.  Needless to say, I feel absolutely worried about how I will be able to juggle it all.

And Jose’s mom is still trying to recover from her surgery and is in constant pain.  That’s a whole story for another time.  Most of the time she’s a god-send around the house especially given the current situation but some times it’s hard for me to understand that she is also another woman in this house who has feelings and needs too.

:::deep breath::: It’s a lot (duh). 

I have to say that every night I find myself settling in to bed around 11:30ish asking God for more hours in the day and patience to do the things I can and let go of things that I cannot.  But for tonight, this is not going to happen.   The baby is already in bed, mother-in-law is settling in for the night, grandma’s in her recliner, Jose’s working on a contract job and it’s 9:54pm and mama is turning in early!  Thank God for the rare little moments when we do have a second to just breathe and forget the daily grind (at least until tomorrow).