My Precious Quincy

As you know, the drama in my family never ends.  If you don’t know – between Jose and I, we could really write a series of novels, reality shows, and more just based on what goes on in our extended family.  And I promise they could seriously entertain/disgust/intrigue/outrage viewers for a lifetime.  So that’s my opening statement.

Tonight while Jose was in class, I put my baby boy to bed.  As I was singing the usual to him (“You are my Sunshine”), he drifted in and out of sleep.  I rubbed his unruly hair and soft skin for a while and I promised him out loud that I would never let “bad, bad things” happen to him.  Of course, I can’t protect him from the typical kid stuff like being teased in school or losing a friend, or whatever but I can certainly protect him from many of the things that I witnessed and struggled through as a child.Quincy

I contemplated that for a while.  Doesn’t every parent want to do this?  Isn’t it the goal of every parent to prevent or fix the things that went wrong in their childhood and to stop those patterns from being applied to their own family.  Well, if that’s true, by now, shouldn’t we all be perfect parents?  I mean man has been in existence for more than enough generations to have perfected it.  My God, how does this keep getting messed up.  Of course, this is all relative to my life.  It could be that you live in a completely normal family, at which point you are staring at the screen saying “wth is she talking about?”  If this applies, I would advise you to please comment and tell me how your life has been normal so that I can be sure to replicate that (I mean it when I tell you that I am NOT being sarcastic here).

Anyway, I am striving for a boring, normal life.  Oblivion is fine with me and I don’t mind explaining the gist of the really bad things in life to my son but I don’t want him to live and breathe them.  I don’t want him to know them first-hand.  Call me crazy, naive, whatever you wish.  I experienced some things as a child that many people will never experience in their whole lives.  And in some cases, it seems that there are constant reminders everywhere of those experiences – everyday almost.  Not trying to give the sob story but it’s the reality of why I have to find a way to make sure I never hear my son make that statement as an adult.  Not to mention all of the rest of the scary stuff that happens in the world (just look at Jose’s last post).  I really hope I don’t screw this up and become the mom that never lets her kids do anything.  But this fear can be paralyzing…

Being a parent is definitely the hardest job I’ve ever had.  Can I get a “amen” or what?

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